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Scoring Overview

Bars will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, based on five essential categories. To enhance the evaluation, bonus points may be awarded for specific standout traits that set a bar apart.

Important Note: Food will not be included in the scoring to maintain a level playing field. Since not all bars offer food, this ensures a fair comparison. If we’ve experienced exceptional food at a bar, we’ll discuss it separately, but it won’t influence the overall score.

Décor : How a bar feels is incredibly important. A great bar should feel like an extension of your home or a place where you would be excited to show your friends. Signage is a big component of a bar. Whether it is vintage beer merchandise or themed signage, this is a crucial element of a bar. Another important element is the bar itself. How is it shaped? Is it big? Small? Do the chairs have backs? Are the chairs complete shit and it makes it unpleasant to be at the bar? Finally, lighting at a bar is a big factor we look at. This detail is not thought of much, but it sets the tone for the bar right as you walk in. These minor details go a long way when looking at the décor of a bar. 
Prices : This is the simplest metric. Nobody wants to pay $7 for 12oz domestic bottle, this should be illegal, yet it is common to see these prices in big cities. $2.50 or $3.00 domestic grabs the attention of a bar patron and encourages them to stay longer (we are also both stingy cheap asses, so price is very important).
Service : There is nothing worse than being at a bar and getting poor service. It is one thing for a bar to be absolutely slammed and it takes the bartender a little bit longer to get your drink, but slow service is the downfall from customers turning into regulars. While being served, it is important for the bartender to be friendly and willing to have a conversation. Yes, at times you may not want to talk to a bartender because you are on your phone or with friends. But for those times you might be alone or waiting on someone to meet you at a bar, a bartender with a good personality, that can shoot the shit, can go a long way.

Atmosphere : Crowd, friendliness, and music. Three crucial scoring components. If a bar is packed and you are rubbing elbows with everyone near, that is not a place that I want to be. What makes matters even worse is if you find yourself constantly running into assholes or unpleasant people. Nice people are well, nice. Being at a bar that attracts nice people are bars that people want to go back too. Music is the last component of a good bar. While a bar does not necessarily have to have music, if they elect too, the music needs to fit the establishment. It needs to be loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to where you cannot even hear what your friend is saying next to you. If a bar has live music, karaoke, Touch Tunes, or a Jukebox, this will be factored into the scoring.

High Life Bottle? : Alright, the old category used to be cleanliness. Let’s face it. Unless you are seeing bodily fluids, the bar is clean. We will call this out in the articles, otherwise. Now, the last category will simply be, does the bar have High Life in a bottle. Personally, I am of the belief every good dive should have this beer. The bottle is the best bottle in the game and it contains the champagne of beers. No, a can does not count. The can legit makes the champagne taste like metal. I have never had a higher variance between a bottle/can beer than High Life.

Bonus Points : Yes, there has to be bonus points to make our subjective scoring even more subjective. 1 bonus point will be awarded to each of these categories. If a bar has all these features they will receive 5 extra points on their score. The categories are: Cash only bars, 24/7 open hours, cigs inside, having bar snacks (chips, nuts, pub mix, etc..), and having troughs in the men’s restroom. Yes, these unicorns are rarely seen at bars, but when they are present they are highly appreciated and noticed for a pure sense of nostalgia.

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