Bar: The Harbor Inn
Location: 1219 Main Ave, Cleveland Ohio 44113
Score: 8.8/10
From the initial moment that I knew I was visiting Cleveland, Ohio, I knew that the Harbor Inn was a must stop at all costs. Are there nicer bars in Cleveland? Absolutely. Are there more well-known dives in Cleveland? Absolutely. Can these bars mimic the personality and grit that the Harbor Inn has? No shot. Grit truly is the best way to describe the Harbor Inn. Located in downtown Cleveland close to the Cuyahoga, the Harbor Inn has been serving Cleveland natives since 1895, making it the oldest bar in the city. While I have no clue what the bar looked like from a historical sense, multiple generations of Clevelanders have confirmed not much has changed. I do not blame them, no need for change once you find your secret sauce. Immediately when I saw the bar I knew I was going to one of the better establishments I had visited. The name of the bar was right outside of the front door, looking weathered along with the dead ivy that had been beaten down from the harsh Cleveland winters. Right away, I knew this place had some soul. When I walked in I noticed that the place was dark, I mean really really really dark. Although it was only noon, I could have been convinced it was 10pm with the lack of windows at the Harbor Inn. But you know what? It made the place cozy. Being surrounded by only the bright neon lights for Molson Canadian, Rolling Rock, and Miller High Life was a refreshing change of pace from what you typically see at bars.
The bar top itself was a very aged wood that fit in with the exposed brick throughout the whole bar. Behind the bar was one of the most unique designs I have seen a bar have. It mimicked the outline of ship and even had a massive bell to go along with the theme. To this day, not asking how to get the bell rang haunts me. I just know it requires some sort of an intimidating shot of alcohol. It must be something bold to get rung. The bar also featured games such as darts and Keno to pass the time in the Harbor Inn. One feature that I do not think has ever been mentioned in a WeRateBars post is the floors. The floors at the Harbor in were a black and red checkered pattern. Imagine an old bowling alley and a shitty high school’s floors mixed. That is the Harbor Inn’s floors, and I thought they kicked ass because of that.
While I know I will not be going back to the Harbor Inn for a bit, I will reminisce about the dark lightning, unique neon signs, and prices so cheap that it makes you ask the bartender twice.
Décor: If you want cookie-cutter this is not the place for you. The décor was very unique and offered a dark lighting with even more unique neon lights for what some imbeciles would consider “garbage beers.” Seriously, if you cannot admit a Rolling Rock in a bottle is a solid beer, grow up.
Service: The bartender made our visit to the Harbor Inn one to remember. She was being a wise ass at my wise assier father, and it was good she could dish it right back out to patrons.
Atmosphere: I went at noon, on Friday, in the middle of winter. There were not many people there but come nighttime I could see the place popping. They had a nice TouchTunes machine that I almost needed to use, but my visit was cut short.
Price: I paid $21 for 8 beers for the five people I was with. Do the math. Real cheap.
Cleanliness: This is always a difficult category to score for dives of this nature. Overall I thought the bar was clean and I have seen dives in way worse shape.
Bonus Points: Nada.